Fertility must be nice

4db31aae9df24c778435a5f83d6b141bI think about this from time to time. How nice it would be to be fertile. To look over at my husband and say, “let’s have a baby.” Plan everything out and get a positive pregnancy test, just like that. Just like it’s supposed to be. Just like it should be, right?

I think about this a lot. Especially when I hear other women planning their families. They’ll talk about when they want to have kids, how many they want, and when they’re going to start trying. And I can’t help but think about my own conversations that I’ve had in the past. Similar conversations. Conversations that occurred, where in my mind, I was fertile. And let me tell you, it WAS nice. Fertility was an absolute dream.

Continue reading Fertility must be nice

My secret life

https_images.genius.comff2ceaaa30176bc26282d0e3463af54b.300x300x1To all my fellow TTCers, do you ever feel like you’re leading a secret life?
A life you don’t really talk about, or post statuses about on social media. A life that you know might make others uncomfortable or bring about feelings of guilt. A life no one really knows about except for the most-trusted people in your inner circle.

I feel like I’m pretty open about my struggles with infertility and PCOS. I have become an advocate for myself and I definitely don’t shy away from educating others on the subject, but every once in awhile I can feel myself putting my guard up and retreating back into that secret life.  Continue reading My secret life

Did this round of Clomid work?

388e52ad964ba8d67e0986b58fb1ab5fIf you’ve read previous blog posts then you’ll know that I recently tried Clomid again. I tried it about a year and a half ago when we first got in to see a fertility doctor. Clomid is usually the first course of action taken by doctors to treat infertility and anovulation, but it didn’t work for me at all. When the doctor recommended that we try it again, after three failed IUIs, a 6-month hormone break, and two natural miracle cycles, I was kinda excited. Maybe my new diet and lifestyle changes would help my body respond to the medication. Maybe I would eat better this time. Maybe I would stress less knowing what to expect. Maybe this would be how we finally got pregnant. Maybe we’d get twins out of the whole thing!

Lots of maybes here.

Continue reading Did this round of Clomid work?

The super long infertility journey post (Part 1)

This post is an inevitable one on an infertility blog, isn’t it? The super long and rambly post recounting every single step we’ve taken to get to where we are today on our long, exhausting infertility journey. Some will have a happy ending, some will be filled with words of hope, and some will be absolutely heart-breaking. I don’t know what this one will be. I haven’t finished writing it yet. So, here it is. I’ll try and keep it to the essentials, but I’ve been known to run on a tangent from time to time. I will say that some of my dates might be a little fuzzy as I never wrote anything down and I will go ahead and blame my PCOS here, as it has the tendency to give me serious brain fog.  Continue reading The super long infertility journey post (Part 1)